Can we please stop excusing the now-culturally-accepted act of “ghosting” with the old line that no response is a response?
As technology has increasingly replaced face-to-face and verbal communication skills, people have become increasingly uncomfortable with being uncomfortable.
The ability to have a difficult or awkward exchange with another person is a lost art. Rather than communicate about a situation, people now just go silent. No response. Instead of responding with, “I’m sorry, I don’t think we’re a good fit and am not interested in a second date,” the person brave enough to initiate an ask is left with no response and no explanation.
Somehow over the past few years, this “ghosting” trend has bled over from the personal to the (un)professional arena.
- You applied for a job, got an interview, but never heard another word? Ghosted!
- You’re an HR director waiting for your new hire on the first day of orientation and they no call/no show? Ghosted!
- Someone reaches out to you for a quote on a project and you never hear anything back? Ghosted!
Ghosting someone after a first date is poor form to say the least…but ghosting has no place in the professional arena, particularly once some level of interaction has taken place. We owe others the courtesy of communication, and it does not have to be complicated!
- Don’t want the job? A “thank you but I have to decline” is sufficient.
- Hiring another candidate? A quick “thank you for applying, but we went with another candidate” is the least you can do to follow up (though providing feedback if they ask would be next-level at this point).
- Awarding a bid to another contractor on your office renovation? Please just send that brief email to say “thank your for taking the time to submit your bid; however, we are going with another contractor.”
Obviously we cannot respond to EVERY communication we receive–unsolicited spam emails still go in my trash bin–but there should be some baseline expectation that once two people have had some interaction, and when someone has invested some time and energy into you or your company, it is inappropriate and unprofessional to just disappear rather than take the few minutes (or less) to put a definitive end to the interaction.